Sometimes, when you need help, you’re the last one to realize it. Maybe it’s stubbornness, maybe it’s denial, or maybe it’s that you’re too busy just getting through the day that you don’t have time to realize that help would be helpful.
This isn’t something that goes away with age. In fact, it tends to get worse as we get older. We get so used to being independent that any other way of life is off of our radar. And yet the older we get, the less we can do by ourselves.
Losing independence isn’t easy. If someone you love is needing more help but they haven’t realized it yet, or they’re refusing to accept it, there are a few things you can do to help them. Brute force arguing won’t work - you can’t convince someone of something they can’t see or don’t want. What you can do instead is show them that they need help using facts and statistics. You can gently point out times in the recent past when they needed help, were in danger, or in trouble.
Amazon has a great system with their Kindle e-books. You can choose ‘buy it now’ or ‘send a sample’. This has been a fantastic sales tool for them. People see a book they might be interested in, but aren’t quite sure. If they choose to get a sample then a small portion of the book is downloaded. This led to an increase in e-book purchases.
Once someone sees the value and enjoys the experience, they’re more likely to fully commit to it.
The same concept can work with offering help to your loved ones. An option that we like to offer is to let them “just try it” once or twice. We can also encourage them by offering to start with only occasional help a few times a month. This small taste of help, and the peace of mind that it usually brings is often enough to let them realize that help is okay to accept.
Another approach is to try to convince them that “It’s not you, it’s me.” If you approach your loved one asking for their help instead of offering help to them, they may see things differently. If you tell them that Home Care assistance would help you they may be more open to considering it. Knowing that your loved one is cared for will give you peace of mind, allow you to accomplish more of your daily tasks, and let you spend time with them as a family instead of as a caregiver.
Of course we can’t force help on anyone and we wouldn’t want to. If your loved one is mentally capable of making their own decisions then we won’t force our care on them. We will work with you to find ways to help convince them that help is necessary, but it’s a decision they will be allowed to make on their own. We are here to make people’s lives better, not to upset them and force them into something they don’t want.
If a client has someone acting as a legal guardian, that guardian can implement care regardless of if it’s desired. We will go into the home with the knowledge that we need to work for their acceptance. We will do our best to sway them to accept our help, to earn their respect, and to make them as comfortable as possible.
Consistency is a large part of making any strategy work. Stick to your points, and slowly ease them in any changes in their life. Try to remember that after decades of being independent accepting that you can’t do it alone isn’t easy.
